How to become a pseudoscientist by Prof Edzard Ernst

About the speaker

Professor Edzard Ernst is Emeritus Professor at the University of Exeter, where he established the world’s first Chair in complementary medicine in 1993. He has previously been Professor in Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation (PMR) at Hannover Medical School (Germany ) and Head of the PMR Department at the University of Vienna (Austria). He is an extremely prolific author, with over 1000 publications in scientific journals, over 50 books in press (most notably, Trick or Treatment? Alternative Medicine on Trial with Simon Singh), and numerous collaborations as a columnist. He founded and has been Editor-in-Chief for Focus on Alternative and Complementary Therapies and Perfusion, and served as EIC for the European Journal of Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation.

Ernst is the recipient of 17 scientific awards and 2 Visiting Professorships. He served on the Medicines Commision of the British Medicines and Healthcare Products Regulatory Agency. His last 25 years of career have been focused on the critical scrutiny of alternative medicine in both academic and outreach settings. He currently lives between Cambridge (UK) and Brittany (France).

About the talk

Times are hard, not least for scientists! It seems therefore wise to consider alternative career paths. Why not become a pseudoscientist? Even though there is plenty of competition, pseudoscientists can lead a fulfilled and happy life – and the income will exceed that of a scientist manyfold.

So-called alternative medicine (SCAM) has long attracted an unusually high percentage of pseudoscientists. Having observed many of them for almost 30 years, I feel I am in a good position to reveal some of the tricks and strategies that helped them succeed. I have thus condensed them into my nine lessons for beginners:

1. Invent a bizarre theory
2. Abuse the tools of science to confirm your theory
3. Avoid facts and use fallacies instead
4. Make as many bogus claims as you can get away with
5. Perfect your cherry-picking skills
6. Claim that you have found a panacea
7. Charge exorbitant fees
8. Be economical with the truth
9. When found out, go on the attack

I am confident that my nine lessons will lead anyone who follows them rigorously to a successful career in pseudoscience. Good luck!